Bad 2nd Friday the 13th

I am a cry baby,only when it comes to you. I hate crying. I never like to cry, especially infront of anyone. Don't make me do it again. *Sigh* I don't need sympathy. I don't need people to understand. I don't need you guys telling me you understand because no one ever really does. I just need people to stop asking for more from me.

So now the conclusion is that i'm a crazy bitch. I cannot accept reality and i cannot accept disappointment.

But i have to, eventually.

I went through a night and i thought i almost blacked out. Out of breath for too many a seconds and too many a time. Words are insignificant now, not even if some doctor operated out my heart. No one can ever understands me. Tomorrow will be a brand new day. Tomorrow will have to be a better day. Today's only bad because its Friday the 13th and i have to pay the price twice because...last month Friday the 13th, i was laughing and having a great time..

So either way, my heart and mind just fucked each other very badly. I am known to be very emotional but don't blame me. This is the way i express myself. This is the way i can feel better..at least for awhile.

So please allow me time to breathe. So please allow me that few minutes to free.
So allow my tears to savor the bitterness. Do you know how it feels to have kept 9mths worth of tears?
100 thousands tears to make a river..
I have to let them out..
Because then will i know... I'm still alive..


The cycle will keeps on turning, who can stop it? Please do so soon..

The only good that i've realised is 'm good at controlling myself from buying a pack of fags. I don't need to start it again.
The funny thing about tonight was Changi village, with only $2 which was actually only 90cents. What can we buy with 90cents? Too lazy to look for the atm..So in the end, the card was slashed.. again..

So many words left unspoken.. I'm born a mute too, by the way.
I need sleep.

Love always,
Mia