Don't push it

Just hit the button one more time, i'll explode.
Its not the least hard on me at all.

If i go back on the right track, its him i'll turn to.
No matter what bloody break of hell, that track leads to the same path.
If it wasn't him, would it be better?
If it wasn't him, would it be easier?
If it wasn't him.

I am known to be harsh with my words and leaving no mercy or sympathy.
I beat about the bush, initially, to want to make it less painful But i was wrong, nothing can make it less painful. Be soft with my words or be harsh with my words.
Leaving is still leaving.
The pain is still on a fair balance on both soft and harsh.

I guess maybe i was wrong. I should have let the other part of the "REASON" out too.
If i had said so, would it be better?
If i had said so, would it be any easier?
If i had said so.

NO.
Its still gonna be right where we are and with this individual and different torture each of us is going through.

Did i reject meeting up?
Did i ignore smses?
Did i eject calls?
No.
And none came for almost 2 weeks now, but who's counting?
I initiated the msging yesterday , to pick up some stuff, and no, i got short REPLY instead.
So tell me how much have i changed after a bloody blink of how many fucking eyes?

When you find someone new, you'll realized how fucking "a blink of an eye" can be done in your face.
When you find someone new, you'll start to hate all the things that you didn't mind in the first place.
When you find your ego/pride hurt, you'll start to find fault in every single matter.

I'm no better than your previous ex-girlfriend. But maybe you should think about, how much i know more than you think i do.
Or maybe like how you "broke up" with her, not mentioning me at all? This matter is pointless but what i'm trying to say is.. its ok if we do things to others but not ok if its done unto we.
Its ok if our friends do so to others, but its not ok if its done unto us.
Everyone always try to be the BETTER person during a breakup.

Life's always unfair and its not up to me to be with everyone who wants to be with me. Maybe if i happened to be one of the hot triplets who looked like the hotter version of Felicia chin?

I made some unhappy.
But i have to look on the bright side.
I made most others happy too.

I have only one choice to make one side happy.
I've chosen.
So be it, if its gonna be ugly from now on because i did my best not to make it ugly.
Just because i blogged the way i do, doesnt mean i am the way the blog said.
It was all nice and understanding but its different now.

Its not about the FUCKING DICKS.
F.YOU.
You made me took that slap from my mom FOR FUCKING NOTHING.
F.YOU.
You made me go through all that nights i fell out with my parents FOR FUCKING NOTHING.
F.YOU.

THIS IS HOW MUCH I WILL SHOW YOU I'VE CHANGED.
Because its NOTHING at the end.

Why should i make my blog infested with such painful entry?
This will be the first and last one about this.
That will be the last time i'm reading your blog.

at least i'm not hiding anymore.
I should feel relieved now.
Least, i'm glad i'm acting like my own age.


I am just fucking angry with everything!