害怕

I don't know how am i gonna face the day, when i have to make a choice.
To release him of pain or to keep him by my side till his very last breathe.
Right now, i just wanna spend more time with him.

My poor Shonie boy...
I don't know what i'm gonna do...
I will never be ready.
I will never be..
Last weekend, even though the doc didn't put it in words, but "if its like this, there's nothing we can do" is simply telling me to be prepared.
The worst case scenerio will be a growth in his brain which is pressing on his nerve to the eyes or.. he will go blind..
So i cried like a pig to monkey when we left the room.

Shonie boy is still active and eating very well.
But it pains me greatly when he can only rest his eyes when he sleeps.
I ,no longer, dare to wake him up to play when he's resting..

I wonder what the doc will say for the next appointment, next Friday..


*Sigh* and i'm feeling so damn sick, nausea and giddy.

I'll be a better owner pls..don't take my boy away. He's mine!