Nothing will change

I'm sitting down here with my thoughts running like a bullet train. Its like they flood my mind and pushing one another, round and round like a merry-go-round.

I've been battling with all emotions and seriously, i don't know how i managed to ignore them and continue my days as though nothing happened. I'm forcing myself to become a bigger person, to grow and put myself in people's shoes before i do or say anything. But the world keeps on disappointing me. I'm not asking for more. I'm simply asking for respect and understanding. Then again, what was i thinking, foolishly hoping for that.

I once heard that to grow and mature happen only when you're in love.
But i guess i was forced to grow even more, when i fell out of it.

Sick of people judging. I know i don't have to care because my conscience is clear but it hurts when people you love do that unto you.
No, i doubt i'm still breaking because i believe there's nothing left to break anymore.
And i was the one who made the decision, i should leave it at that. Things happened for some reasons. I do not have to understand them. I just need to know its time to move on.

I have a longer way ahead to go. I have so much more to look forward to. I'm gonna make better decisions and better days.

I simply just have to register the fact that we humans are all selfish by nature and that if they can do it once, they can do it again.

I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me

I should've said all the things
That I kept inside of me
Maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need ..