Back for good

I'm glad to be back home.
I miss my girls so much and my dear shonie boy. Couldn't let go of him when i got home. That spoilt brat.

Uncle said something really meaningful on our flight back.
What's a funeral truly about?
Why are there so many traditions and rituals to carry out?
To teach Filial Piety to the younger generation?
To know we have to cherish every moment of the living before its too late. To know till the every end, we have our responsibilities to fulfill when our older generation pass on.
I think despite death itself, it should bring the family closer. After being there for 5days, despite us not seeing one another for years, we got along and chatted like the years of absence are nothing.

Blood runs thicker than water.


Bali in 4 days.
-The only time we have until the traveling stops for awhile after late October-

I want to believe and you've been giving so much to make me believe.
But don't blame me because words are just words alone. Many of them, have abused them on me. I like the way you include me in your plans and how u want work to revolve around me than the other way. How you work so hard for better days. How you have this bucket list. How you are so determined. How you accepted everything. How you guide and give me space to grow. But your efforts are just yours alone. I do not know what i have to give you. You're not asking but i can't just keep taking. She took the very last straw i had left. What else do i really have?
Why am i still complicating things? Its just simple as it is. Its gonna be better than i had ever wish for. So why am i doing this to myself and to you, to us?

But...its still not the same.
And all i know is i need more time.